Ever feel like you have so much that you have to do, that you forget what you actually want to do?
Ever feel like your mind is such a mess of chatter and go, go, go that you end up with a clogged brain?
You know you want to live a badass life full of love, adventure and fun. You want to live the good life. You don’t want to spend your days just getting by and surviving.
It’s important to you to feel good and enjoy your life. You just can’t seem to remember or figure out what exactly the good life is because there’s so much you are supposed to be doing in every moment. Days start to slip away without there being any fun.
I’m with you. Sometimes my brain is such a chatter box that my thoughts start to feel clogged. I become anxious and feel like I’m spinning my wheels. There’s always so much I’m supposed to do. So much I should do. I feel chained to my to-do list.
I’ve spent weeks and months just trying to keep up with life and sometimes, in the end, I realize all that work didn’t even get me someplace that makes me happy.
To quote Ferris Bueller, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
My badass alteration to this quote is, your brain chatters pretty fast. If you don’t stop and take a minute to chill out once in a while, you could miss what you actually want to do with your life. You could miss out on enjoying this day. This moment.
If you feel like your brain is a mess of chatter and you are caught in cycle of just trying to keep up, or that you’re moving farther and farther away from your happiness…
Take two minutes, or 30 seconds if that’s all you have, to connect to your gut instinct. Some people call this inner wisdom God. Some people call it connecting to your heart, soul, inner calm.
I don’t care what you call it. I care that you chill out and live the life you actually want. I care that you are happy and having a good time.
So, here is a super basic meditation that can take you from disconnected, clogged and confused to clear in two minutes or less.
Simply breath in on a count of three and exhale on a count of five.
Inhale, two, three.
Exhale, two, three, four, five.
Inhale, two, three.
Exhale, two, three, four, five.
Doing this on repeat for two minutes will clear your brain and help you connect to what you really want to do.
I like to start the morning with two or more minutes of this meditation. I set a timer on my iPhone and close my eyes.
Throughout the day, if I feel mind getting cluttered and confused, I tap back into my calm by doing this 3/5 breathing where ever I am. I might be driving, walking, working, whatever.
Even 15 seconds of this breathing can set me straight and keep me from spinning my wheels. I quiet my brain and am able to sift through the crap. I’m able to identify what I actually want to do and what is really important to me.
Give it a try and let me know how it goes. A cluttered mind can lead to a messy life. Stay out of the rabbit hole of confusion by chilling out, slowing down and tapping into what you really want.
Cheers to becoming a badass one breath at a time!
Should you live by the YOLO philosophy (You Only Live Once) or should you put your nose to the grind and work at a miserable entry level job that is high stress, low pay, and may or may not lead anywhere better?
Watch the video now.
Don't sacrifice life for a stable job. Find a career that fits into your YOLO. @becomingabadass
— Jessica Zelenko (@becomingabadass) June 3, 2014
Do the work! Answer the questions. Change your life!
What is your personal definition of success? Who are examples of people you believe to be successful? What qualities do you admire in these people and their lives? What would you have in your life now if you had a successful career that you don’t have now?
Who has a job or life that you are jealous of? What exactly are you jealous of about their job or life?
Describe your perfect job in detail. What hours do you work? What activities or tasks do you perform? Where does the work take place, geographically and in what exact environment? What do you wear while working? Who do you work with? Who do you work for? What is your relationship like with these people? How many people do you work with? Do you manage any other employees? What is the size of the company? Is it a company? If so, what kind of company? What is the company’s philosophy and goal? If you don’t work for a company, what type and size of business is it? How much are you paid? Does the job provide benefits? What is your long-term goal with this work?
If this is too daunting and you just can’t do it, write out your absolute worst nightmare of a job. Answer the same questions as above. Most people know exactly what they don’t want.
After you’ve nailed down what you don’t want, go through and write out the exact opposite. What does the opposite of your worst nightmare look like? Does it give you clues to what you do want? It should.
How much money do you need to make to support your ideal lifestyle? Compared to your current budget, how much more money would a job need to provide to upgrade you to the lifestyle you want? What benefits (healthcare, 401K, etc.) do you want your job to provide?
List all of your ideas and possibilities. Create a list from the above questions of possible jobs or fields of work you are interested in. Include anything you’ve always thought you might want to do, be good at or someone said you should be and you thought, “Huh, that could be interesting.” You are just brainstorming at this point so there are no bad ideas. The more, the better!
Keep brainstorming. You’ve started your list of dream job possibilities at this point. Focus on adding to the list over the next few weeks.
The next step is all about figuring out what you would be best at and love doing. This means finding out your natural strengths, skills and what you plain ol’ love doing. I’ll show you how to figure all that out next time. (This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Career Coaching, but this will get you started on your way to YOLO with a dream job.)
Time to get personal with ya’ll. I can’t sleep and I’ve got the urge to TBT literary style. I’ve been wanting to talk about this for a while.
The other day I almost fell off my road bike going around a gentle curve on a bike path. Like, I lost control for a few seconds of wobbling and had time to think the full thought, “Oh, shit. I’m about to fall. This is so embarrassing.” Later, I was passed by a butterfly. While a beautiful moment, this doesn’t reflect well on my speed.
Basically, I was biking like a complete goober. Dude. Road biking requires more skill than you would think. It may be extra challenging because I have a road bike from the 1970s and have to reach down, between my legs to shift gears. Damn those tiny, thin tires. And double damn those low, hard handle bars. I’m telling you, it’s not like normal biking, which is bullshit because it looks easy.
And yet, I was grinning so big that I accidentally ate a bug. My smile was so wide that the bug didn’t get caught in my teeth. The little bugger slammed into the back of my throat.
It made me think of the second blog I ever wrote for Becoming a Badass five years ago. It was about going for a bike ride on a simple 10 speed down a flat road. I hadn’t biked in years. I was 25 at the time. It had been 12 years since I would bike around my cul-de-sac in Little Rock, Arkansas.
Long story short, a woman running passed me while I was biking. I was going that damn slow. But I had a good time and I still felt like a badass.
Five years later, I’ve learned to mountain bike, ski and surf. I’ve jumped off cliffs. I’ve climbed active volcanos and roasted marshmallows over the lava. My little blog about a LA party girl learning to be a Jackson Hole extreme sport badass has a lot of people thinking I’m an actual badass.
They don’t know what a goofball I am on a road bike.
The experiment went too well. Now, people expect me to be good at things because I’ve written about it all so much. I’ve talked about it all too much. I’ve publicly obsessed. Opps. People expect me to be, like, really athletic.
And I’m not.
Road biking is pretty new to me. I’m a certifiable goober. But I love it. I’ve got the same grin, the same feeling of badass, five years later.
Because it’s not about Being a Badass, it’s about Becoming Better. It’s about becoming braver. Becoming stronger. Becoming a person I want to be but am never 100% sure I can pull off.
It’s taking a risk and giving it my all, even when I look really stupid and have a bug stuck to the back of my throat. Then, it’s about doing it again.
Becoming a Badass was originally about learning how to be athletic. But, it was also about putting my writing out in public for the first time. It was, also, about how afraid I was, am, of so many things. And, about how I chose/choose to try to be a damn badass anyway.
That’s a lot about me. And honestly, I’ve gotten pretty sick of me. That’s why I started evolving Becoming a Badass to be about other people.
How I can help other people live their best lives?
That’s what I wanted to know. That’s what I found out.
A lot of people graduate from college and don’t know what they want to/should do for a career. Sometimes years go by. They don’t know where to start. They feel ridiculous. Shouldn’t this be something they can figure out on their own? Shouldn’t they have come to a final answer to the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
Becoming a Badass is now devoted to helping people figure out what they want to do with their lives and turning desires into realities. The roots are in finding strength through consciously taking on challenges but it’s grown into something bigger.
I don’t want you to be jarred by how Becoming a Badass is growing up. There will always be an emphasis on overcoming fear but there is also going to be a lot of practical, career finding help.
People need it. I like providing it. I’m a career coach. It’s awesome.
People come to me, slumped, tight-mouthed, clearly edging on defeat. They really don’t like their job. Well, they can stand their job, actually, there’s a lot of good stuff about the job… But the job is a dead end. This isn’t what they want to do. But they don’t know WHAT they want to do. The don’t even know where to start in order to figure it out.
Then, I give them steps to follow. I have them answer a lot of questions about themselves, about what they want out of life. A lot of questions about who they are and what they value. They put together the pieces of what they like and what they detest and what they want out of life. Something starts to come together. They start to perk up. I see a shimmer in their eyes. A tiny glint of hope.
Then, I coax that glint of hope into a fire. I help them research possibilities. They start finding careers they are really excited about. They become filled with energy. They are smiling and talking fast.
Typically, things get a little rough again. They don’t return to the drooping people they were when we first started working together. But a shadow of fear appears. They have to do something scary called informational interviews. Basically, they have to talk to strangers to learn more about a profession they are interested in.
It’s pretty intimidating.
Here, I get to use all I know about overcoming fear. Oh, I love it.
They do the interviews. They come back with a new, knowing calm that is mixed with excitement.
Then the most beautiful damn thing happens. They make a choice. They make a confident choice. They pick a career. They pursue the career.
They feel good about themselves. They believe in their potential again. They want something and they are fueled by going after it.
That’s a super simplified version but what I needed to tell you about is the transformation. How these people come in looking like plants that haven’t been watered in way too long.
One client said, “I feel like I am wilting.” She looked it.
I get to water these people with a practical, easy to follow, step-by-step process. I get to see them become so vibrant, so alive, so fricken badass.
It’s a bigger thrill for me than skiing in the back country on a powder day. It’s better than surfing in Nicaragua. It’s better than rock climbing in Thailand. It’s the most thrilling thing I’ve ever had the honor of doing.
Please, stay with me as I go on this adventure.
It’s my next pursuit of Becoming a Badass. Thanks for sticking around. I cherish you.
Feel like you’re interested in too many random things? Worried that you’ll never find a career?
Don’t you worry. I have been there. Oh, my, have I been there. And, I know how to take you from hot mess to hot life.
Watch the video below for a step-by-step exercise that will transform your interests from a hot mess into a great resource for figuring out what career you want and how to get the job.
Growing up, I always wanted to try everything. I did dance, soccer, craft classes, tennis, swimming, cheerleading, karate, gymnastics, piano, acting, basketball, debate, collected stamps… That’s just the tip of the iceberg. I thought I would grow out of my exploring as I got older but I didn’t.
Actually, my interests list kept growing! By the time I graduated from my bachelors degree I knew I loved travel, acting, writing, fashion styling, working with people, making money, math, improving the world, self-improvement, using my brain, healthy lifestyles, dance, socializing, partying, wine, hiking, stability, family… Basically, I knew I loved a lot of things about life but none of them seemed to add up to a stable career.
I was having a great time but I felt like a hot mess!
Through a lot of research, learning and hard work I figured out how to put together the puzzle pieces of my life. Now, I have a career I love that draws on my scattered interests. I worked hard to put the puzzle together but I’m here to make it easier for you. I’ve put together super simple systems and exercises so you can go from hot mess to hot life quickly and smoothly.
I didn’t get lucky. I did the work and you can too.
In this video, I’m going to give you a simple, actionable exercise you can do to take yourself from hot mess to hot life. You’ll learn why having a bunch of interests is actually a good thing.
If you are ready to figure out what you want to do for a career and are ready to make a step-by-step plan for how to make it happen, it’s time for us to work together. My prices will be raising in a few months so you want to act now.
(Pss! If you’re joining me from the newsletter, scroll down to the video. If you aren’t, sign up for the newsletter here.)
Have you ever thought, “Ugh, I want a new job. But how and when could I ever make that happen? This sure isn’t the right time.”
Does wondering what your next career step should be keep you up at night? Are your happy hour conversations less than happy because you spend them lamenting over how trapped you feel at your current job? Are you starting to think you should just give up because you are stuck and there ain’t no way outta this situation?
You’ve got job change anxiety but the video below is like job change Xanax.
It’s easy to spend years stuck in a less than ideal position because you feel trapped by the economy, personal circumstances, family obligations, college loans, whatever. There is always another excuse to not make a change. But excuses are not badass.
Badass is figuring out what you want, how to get it and making that shiz-nit happen.
Have you muddled through years at a job waiting for the right time to come along to make a change? If not you, I bet you know someone who is always complaining about their work but then saying they just can’t make a change.
Seems like everyone is wondering when is the right time to make a big career change. I’m here to solve the mystery.
There is no right time to make a big change. Boom! Truth bomb.
Sorry to disappoint but it’s true. There will always be complications and less than ideal circumstances in some way or another.
Don’t fret, pet.
That doesn’t mean you are trapped at a job you don’t like. It means you have to make the right time and circumstances for yourself. And, you can. For sure.
In the video below I give you three steps to follow if you want to make any time an ideal time for changing jobs. By following these three steps you are setting yourself up for an easy and successful transition to a job you totally dig.
You’ll learn that it’s not about waiting for the right time or circumstances. Instead, it’s about creating the right circumstances,plan and timeline.
I’d love to hear from you in the comments what you think makes for a smooth career transition. Whether you made a smart choice or learned a lesson the hard way, I’d love for you to share your knowledge with the Becoming a Badass community.
Cheers to becoming a badass,
Ps. I’m available for Career Coaching sessions. If you are ready to figure out what your really want to be doing with your life career-wise and want to create a step-by-step plan for turning that dream into a reality it’s time for us to work together. Click here, Let’s Work Together! As they say, a year from now you’ll wish you started today.
Thanks for being here for the first ever Becoming a Badass Blog! If you’ve receive the newsletter, just scan down to the bottom video. (If you aren’t receiving the newsletter, sign up here now!)
I’m SO excited to be sharing this video with you today! (Ok. I’ll take a deep breath and chill out because this isn’t about MY excitement. This is about YOUR life.)
I’m fired up about you having a good time and being successful. My mission is to make sure you are having a blast and doing what you love.
Don’t worry. My eyes aren’t frosted over with glitter and I’m not saying this from atop a unicorn. I know that is an aggressively positive statement. But, I also know that this world desperately needs more people who are working at careers they actually care about.
I’m here to give you practical tips and tools to find a job that you really dig. I’m also here to help you create a smart plan so that you can turn your dream into a reality.
Most of us have to work. We have to spend A LOT of our lives at work. Even if you have the best life ever outside of work, full of fun, adventures, great friends, a hot and loving partner and a supportive family… WORK SHOULD NOT SUCK!
Ok. Taking another deep breath. I get overheated thinking about people spending so much of their lives at blah jobs they have to do because they can’t figure out what they really want to do. Or, they don’t believe they can turn their dream into a reality.
There are way too many people in this world that are haunted by their own potential. Too many people know they are smart, passionate and driven but because they can’t figure out what they want to do with their lives, start to give up hope. They start to settle.
I know I spent a few years thinking, “Ok, well, I guess that 4.0 in high school and going to an amazing college was a fluke. I’m a career waitress and there’s no shame in making an honest living.”
There is absolutely no shame in doing what has to be done to pay the bills. We’ll talk about bridge jobs and enabling jobs in the future and I am a BIG fan. But there is an internal feeling of ickiness that doesn’t seem to go away when you know you aren’t doing what you have the desire and potential to do.
I believe I was put on this earth to help eradicate that depressing, heavy, dragging, icky feeling that comes from not knowing what you want to do with your life or how to make it happen.
Remember the “No Child Left Behind” campaign that was to get every child in every school a good education? Well, I’m basically heading up the “No Adult Left Behind” campaign.
I’m so sick of watching people graduate from high school or college with no idea about what they want to do for a career or how to make their dream happen. And everyone seems to say, “Oh, don’t worry. You’ll figure it out.”
Really? How? By spending years and years working at jobs you don’t like that aren’t getting you anywhere?
Ummm… That doesn’t seem to be working, people!
That’s why I’ve devoted my life to Career Coaching. I’m here to make sure that no adult is left behind at a job they kinda actually hate and that is crushing their soul. Work’s too long and life’s too short.
I’m here to help you make your career your next big adventure. I believe life should be fun. It might be really hard work sometimes but it should be really hard work you love that is getting you where you want to go.
In this video, we are starting off slow. I’m going to ask you one little question that has a big impact when picking a career.
I learned this question from Barbara Sher, the mother of career coaching, author, public speaker and an out-and-out badass. She’s been doing this since the ’70s and is still saving people from boring jobs they hate.
Check out my two favorite books of hers, I Could Do Anything If Only I knew What It Was and Wishcraft: How To Get What You Really Want.
Thanks for watching the video below and don’t forget to do your Action Adventure Challenge!
PS. I’m still accepting Career Coaching clients right now.I would love to work with you or someone you know who is ready to figure out what they want to do with their life, pronto! Click on this link to learn more and contact me soon. Spaces fill up quick.
Coming soon! For a direct line to my blog sign up for my newsletter by clicking on the Sign Up tab above.
See you soon, badass!
If you are tired of being embarrassed about telling people how you make a living at family reunions, we need to talk. If you kinda know what you want to do but just don’t know exactly how to go about pursuing your dream, we should chat. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to see if career coaching can get you on your way to Becoming a Badass.
Seriously, a year from now you’ll wish you started today. Email me pronto at email@example.com.